What are my options for divorce in New York State and why might I choose mediation?
Understanding Your Options for Divorce in New York State—And Why Mediation May Be Your Best Path Forward
Divorce is never easy, but how you go about it can make a significant difference in the experience — for you, your spouse, and your family. If you're considering divorce in New York State, it's important to know that you have several options, each with its own process, cost, timeline, and impact on your emotional well-being. One option that more couples are turning to is divorce mediation, a collaborative and often more peaceful alternative to traditional litigation.
Divorce Options in New York State
In New York, couples have a few main options when seeking a divorce:
1. Litigated Divorce
This is the traditional courtroom process, where each spouse hires an attorney, and disputes are resolved through the court system. It can be appropriate in high-conflict cases or when there are significant disagreements over assets, custody, or safety. However, litigation can be:
Lengthy and expensive
Emotionally draining
Public (court filings are generally not confidential)
Combative by nature
2. Collaborative Divorce
In a collaborative divorce, each spouse retains a specially trained attorney, and both agree to resolve all issues without going to court. The process may also involve other professionals, such as financial specialists or child psychologists. Collaborative divorce is generally less adversarial than litigation, but still more formal—and potentially costly—than mediation.
3. Uncontested Divorce
If you and your spouse agree on all terms—division of property, child custody, support, etc.—you can file for an uncontested divorce. This is often the fastest and least expensive route, but it requires a high level of cooperation and mutual agreement upfront. Mediation can help you get to this point.
4. Mediated Divorce
In mediation, a neutral third party (a trained mediator) helps you and your spouse work through all the issues in your divorce and reach a mutually acceptable agreement. Mediation can be used at any stage of the process—before filing or even during litigation—to reduce conflict and find common ground.
Why Choose Mediation?
Mediation is especially well-suited to couples who:
Want to stay out of court
Value privacy
Are focused on the well-being of their children
Hope to preserve a respectful or amicable relationship post-divorce
Prefer to maintain control over decisions rather than letting a judge decide
Benefits of mediation include:
Cost-effective: Generally far less expensive than litigation or collaborative divorce.
Faster: You set the pace, not the court calendar.
Private and Confidential: Mediation sessions are not public record.
Empowering: You and your spouse make the decisions—not a judge.
Family-friendly: Especially helpful for parents who need to co-parent after divorce.
What Does the Mediation Process Look Like?
Initial Consultation – You’ll meet with the mediator to discuss goals, understand the process, and decide if mediation is the right fit.
Information Gathering – You’ll both share financial information, parenting priorities, and other relevant details.
Issue Resolution – Through a series of sessions, the mediator helps you work through topics like property division, child custody, and support.
Drafting the Agreement – Once you reach an agreement, the mediator prepares a Memorandum of Understanding or draft settlement agreement.
Finalizing the Divorce – You or your attorneys file the necessary documents with the court to legally finalize the divorce.
Is Mediation Legally Binding?
The agreements reached in mediation can become legally binding once they are incorporated into a signed and notarized divorce settlement agreement and approved by the court. You may also consult with independent attorneys to review the agreement before signing.
Final Thoughts
Mediation isn’t right for every couple, but for many it offers a path forward that is more peaceful and efficient than other divorce processes.
If you're considering divorce in New York and want to understand whether mediation might be right for you, schedule a consultation to learn more. You don’t have to go through this alone — and you don’t have to go to court to move forward.